Eliminating Self-Defeating Behaviors
The five major components of the model are as follows:
- What SDBs do I want to change?
- In which situations do I practice this counterproductive behavior?
- and with Whom?
- How do I practice the behavior?
- What positive, productive, behavior can I practice in lieu of my SDB?
- What changes will occur if I replace my SDB with a positive, productive, behavior?
SDBs are negative re-occurring behaviors that are observable to individuals. People know at some level of awareness that they should not be repeating these behaviors, and will say I shouldn't be doing this! as they continue to repeat their SDBs. Tradition approaches attack these behaviors with therapy, medication, inpatient/inpatient programs, support groups, etc. The results are mixed, and relapse is common.
For positive, permanent, behavioral change the solution is not to attack the behaviors, but focus on the force factors behind these behaviors: Mythical Fears and Behavioral Beliefs. These two drivers are lodged in the partially aware, and unaware, areas of the brain. Individuals becomeprisoners of their fears. The struggle/paradox is that individuals are afraid not to repeat behaviors that hurt them! The fear says, if you stop these behaviors, bad things will happen to you.
Behind the mythical fears is the generator — the behavior beliefs. Individuals are slaves to their beliefs (these are referred to as feelings), and will act in accordance. The beliefs say, if you keep these behaviors, you will be safe. The promise of protection, and the fear of being without the behaviors, force the SDBs to be repeated. The SDBs are the caboose; we need to correct the engines.
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